anticipation

this week is full of questions and wonderings. is wondering even a word?
anyway...
this week i find out whether i will be getting the job i so badly want.
this week i have to make some housing decisions. to stay or leave. is staying even an option? i'm not sure anymore.
if i get the job, do i look for housing closer to the city?
if i get housing closer to the city, do i leave this church i love or commute a ridiculous amount?
if i stay at this church, do i join a lifegroup or a discipleship group?
what to do? what to do?
i first have to find out about the job.
patience is not a gift of mine. nor is mercy. i need to work on those.