the film

so the film i'm working on is rather fantastic. it's always wonderful to be a part of something that is great.
i'm sitting here in new mexico (trying to sleep since we had an early night) reveling in the fact that i am actually working on a movie. it may be independent, but the story is compelling and interesting and a total chick flick which of course, i love! we are doing the pick up shoot this week and it has been the most tiresome experience in my life (i think), but so worth every moment. this is what i am passionate about. good storytelling and being a part of something that has huge potential. the lead actors in this film better make it big. they are rather talented. hollywood is so fickle though. actors get chewed up and spit out so easily. it's too bad because i know some pretty incredible actors who should be getting the big deals! seriously.
anyway, off my soapbox and back to the film... it's about this small little county with this radio talk show host, lauren, who gives horrible dating advice, telling her callers to compare their prospects to cars. along comes jack, this hot shot (and totally adorable) california radio guy who happens to get lost in this town where he ends up challenging lauren and this county to bring magic back into love and relationships. it's a very charming and hopeful film and i am so thankful to be a part of it, even late into the production. it's been an amazing experience. i've made some pretty great contacts and have become even better friends with the guys producing the film, also, my bosses. haha. i enjoy working with people who are passionate about what they do! it encourages me and challenges me to keep going after all these dreams i have to be a writer.
again, back to the film...you should go check out the website: coyotecountyloser.com. it needs to be updated....but go look now as it will give you a really good idea about the film!

well, i'm off to bed to rest since i have another crazy day tomorrow of shooting. I believe I get to operate the camera tomorrow. how amazing is that? my job is the ultimate hodge podge of things. i've done practically every job on this shoot. it's completely insane.
and i got sunburned. fantastic. but i'm still smiling and snorting of course.

nope, not yet.

so i didn't get the job with cold case, but literally like 2 or 3 hours after, i was asked to be a production assistant on a re-shoot for an independent film in new mexico. so, on thursday i leave for 2 weeks. kinda crazy but i am getting paid and they are covering all my expenses to get there and while i'm there-food and housing. the film is being produced by some guys who are alumni from my college (before me) and also go to my current church. such great connections. i am so excited!
so hopefully when i get back something else pans out and i get a job.
keep on hoping!

best interview yet

today i had probably my best interview for an industry job. i was early, had my heels on and the interview was more like a conversation between friends.

i interviewed for a writer's production assistant with the show cold case. i really want this job. not only is it the first step on the writer's ladder, but it's for an outstanding show with serious longevity and a really cool group of people from what i could assess. did i mention i really want this job?

right now God has been teaching me a lot about patience and humility (especially being jobless for about a month) so this opportunity has come at a pretty intense time. i don't want to get my hopes up, because this industry is tough and even at times, fickle. so i need patience, confidence, obedience and clarity for where God wants me to be vocationally. i read this quote today in my devotional: "great endings often start with humble beginnings." i hope this interview will be that great ending to my job search.

so i find out on monday or tuesday if i am hired and then i would start on wednesday! how crazy is that? so, i need some prayer...

thanks.

and now i can't sleep. go figure.

really?

i'm struggling with this:

i think i'm good at a lot of things but i'm not great or spectacular at just one thing.

i'm the female jack of all trades, especially when it comes to pleasing people. but i want to stand out in one area.

i like being good at things, having experienced a lot of different opportunities, but to me, one doesn't stand out above the rest. it's frustrating.


i keep going on all these interviews in the film/tv industry and everyone has a different opinion. i'm too qualified. i'm under-qualified. my resume looks great. my resume looks like crap. this job will be too easy for you. this job will be too hard for you.....blah, blah, blah and all these comments are for the same type of position. it's confusing. and frustrating. and makes me cry. at least they agree on one thing...this industry is really competitive and hard to get into.

i'm questioning being out here. i want certain things. i have certain dreams. but i'm not sure if the way i'm going will bring me there nor am i sure who to listen to, besides god and right now, he's been a little silent. i want clear direction. i'm almost 31 and i still doubt what i want to do with my life. i love doing so many things, but then back in comes that problem of not one particular thing sticking out. i do want to serve god the best i can, but right now, i'm doing a rather shoddy job at it.
i say i want to write, but i'm not writing. i have these great ideas, but putting them all together is not happening...mostly because i'm unmotivated and trying to survive financially. but those turn into stupid excuses.
i like planning stuff. i like photography. i like teenagers. i like having a consistent schedule. i like directing. i like too much.
i keep praying that god will direct me to just one thing.

and then there's my personal life. can i please get asked out on a date? please? by a guy who loves jesus and who i'm attracted to and who's interested in pursuing me? is that really too much to ask? seriously?

well, blah. that's all i have to say. onto another day.