it's all mundane.

so i'm out here in california, where i wanted to be with all my heart.
and where i know god wants me to be.

but i am bored.
first off...i realized since i graduated in may that i am addicted to being busy. that's a problem when your life is full of things and then is not so full. yeah, it was cool for awhile but now it is hard. i do have things to get done, like edit some more photos and work on finishing a wedding video, but other than that, life is a little dull.
i got a job working at hollywood video. it's not what i want to be doing. not at all. yeah, i was hired as a supervisor and i get free movie rentals but how long must i work there until i get a break in the real hollywood? i send out resumes almost everyday. nothing yet.
i also have no money. and this is literally not a joke. i'll be lucky if i have money to pay my september rent. how stressful is that? i know it wil be ok, i just wanted to complain about it for a second. i'm also taking donations.

just having a hard time finding joy in the mundane and day to day things which i know i should.

i've been crying a lot lately and i'm not sure if it's pms or just stress or a combo. i seriously cried a lot today. i cried about my job and finances and that i don't have much community here plus i miss jbu so much (they started freshman orientation today which i always was at because of being a director of student activities) nor do i have a boyfriend. i really should not have watched say anything today. i love that movie but then it makes me want to be in love and can someone tell me where all the lloyd doblers' are today? someone, please. can i please just meet a great guy who thinks i'm fantastic, who loves jesus, but is not perfect and will challenge me? is that too much to ask? if only john cusack was a christian, oh and someone who i actually have the chance of meeting...

i also watched a movie that is coming out tuesday on dvd called Broken English. If you are a 30 something single woman, you should watch this film. A summary of the film... "Nora Wilder is freaking out. Everyone around her is in a relationship, is married, or has children. Nora is in her thirties, alone with a job she's outgrown and a mother who constantly reminds her of it all. Not to mention her best friend Audrey's "perfect marriage"'
story of my life. and i’m not even kidding.
(then she meets this french guy who changes it all-left that out since i have yet to meet any french men...but i have been watching plenty french films.)