flip flop interview

so monday i had the interview of a lifetime with john wells productions (ER, West Wing, Far From Heaven, White Oleander) and i wore flip flops.
please note that this was in no way on purpose.
i left my house with plenty of time to get to burbank and while i was looking for a starbucks to pass the time (i was 40 min early) and talking to my mom, i realized that i forgot my heels. not wanting to drive in heels, i had left my house wearing flip flops. well, i forgot the heels.
panic set in. how could i go to an interview in flip flops? i started to cry and hung up on my mom. i frantically began to drive around searching for any shoe store. anything! i found one but no dress shoes...yet a mall was apparently 1 mile up the road.
the mall didn't exist. by the time i realized i was lost i had to turn around before it was too late.
well, i was late. five minutes. i sat and waited in the fancy and quite professional lobby, five minutes late wearing flip flops.
i suck sometimes. my parents say i am way too hard on myself.
but seriously...flip flops? i might as well have been wearing slippers.

the interview went ok besides my heart pounding, my hands shaking, my stomach turning. she knew i was nervous as i talked and told me there was nothing to be nervous about. yeah right i thought. yeah right. i'm trying to impress you, sell myself to you and be professional but i'm wearing flippin' flip flops. the only time in my ENTIRE life that i've hated flip flops.
if i get this job then the power of god will never ever be a doubt in my mind because i would not hire someone who is five minutes late wearing flip flops. the extent of grace is sometimes beyond my understanding. really what i mean to say is that if i get this job then it is only because of god and his grace and power. i thought i had it all together but he is so much more in control. and if i don't get this job, then i know i'm an idiot. not really. i know that there is something else.
the bottom line is that i know that my faith does not rely on whether i get this job. and that's what matters more.
we learn from our experiences.
i won't ever wear flip flops again to an interview. that's for sure.

this stuff only happens to me. oh and lauren pemberton.

my parents are right. i am too hard on myself. i hate it when they are right.

i find out about the job by the end of next week...so in like a week.

it's all mundane.

so i'm out here in california, where i wanted to be with all my heart.
and where i know god wants me to be.

but i am bored.
first off...i realized since i graduated in may that i am addicted to being busy. that's a problem when your life is full of things and then is not so full. yeah, it was cool for awhile but now it is hard. i do have things to get done, like edit some more photos and work on finishing a wedding video, but other than that, life is a little dull.
i got a job working at hollywood video. it's not what i want to be doing. not at all. yeah, i was hired as a supervisor and i get free movie rentals but how long must i work there until i get a break in the real hollywood? i send out resumes almost everyday. nothing yet.
i also have no money. and this is literally not a joke. i'll be lucky if i have money to pay my september rent. how stressful is that? i know it wil be ok, i just wanted to complain about it for a second. i'm also taking donations.

just having a hard time finding joy in the mundane and day to day things which i know i should.

i've been crying a lot lately and i'm not sure if it's pms or just stress or a combo. i seriously cried a lot today. i cried about my job and finances and that i don't have much community here plus i miss jbu so much (they started freshman orientation today which i always was at because of being a director of student activities) nor do i have a boyfriend. i really should not have watched say anything today. i love that movie but then it makes me want to be in love and can someone tell me where all the lloyd doblers' are today? someone, please. can i please just meet a great guy who thinks i'm fantastic, who loves jesus, but is not perfect and will challenge me? is that too much to ask? if only john cusack was a christian, oh and someone who i actually have the chance of meeting...

i also watched a movie that is coming out tuesday on dvd called Broken English. If you are a 30 something single woman, you should watch this film. A summary of the film... "Nora Wilder is freaking out. Everyone around her is in a relationship, is married, or has children. Nora is in her thirties, alone with a job she's outgrown and a mother who constantly reminds her of it all. Not to mention her best friend Audrey's "perfect marriage"'
story of my life. and i’m not even kidding.
(then she meets this french guy who changes it all-left that out since i have yet to meet any french men...but i have been watching plenty french films.)

eharmony madness

so i sort of joined eharmony.
i just want to go on some dates. i miss dating.
i haven't committed. financially that is. it costs to communicate.

but that's not the story i want to share.

so few days after joining, i got matched with "bob" (we'll call him bob to protect his privacy)
anyway, so i already know bob. we are friends. and so now i giggle at this incident.
there are a few reasons for my laughter.
1. bob is just my friend and i would have never thought we'd be "matched"
2. bob doesn't seem like the eharmony type of guy-go figure...those who seem to be on the path to singleness are just dying inside to find love...
3. bob "fast tracked" me which means we skip all the slow communication and just start talking freely through emails. haha. (but i can't read his personalized message to me until i pay the monthly fee of 59.95 or something like that. (that's a lot of money for a couple of dates)
4. bob knows it's me and this makes me laugh harder. it actually makes me snort.

i think that's all for now. but if you know bob and you know me, you would laugh as well.
bob, i love you and i hope you are laughing.
you're a good friend, bob. yes bob, you are.
thanks for letting me write about you (although you probably won't even read this, so no big deal).



maybe i won't have to actually join eharmony to get a date after all....

writing

I'm not very good at this whole blogging thing. I always think of stuff I want to go write but then I get distracted and forget to do it. Then I want to try and go back and write from there, but then I realize I will never catch up. Too much happens in life.
This is meant to be a creative outlet to let others know what is going on in my life and well, sometimes my life is not all that interesting...and the stuff that is...I either can't or don't want to write about it for some reason or another.
so there.